Inner walls

Joy-ride

2012-02-13T14:26:00.004+04:00

There is no happiness, but I'm challenging every minute of life and enjoying the ride

an asian sun

2012-02-08T10:17:00.000+04:00

hands that might never touch
but a friendship that will grow

S

2011-12-15T12:54:00.002+04:00

I miss what you meant to me

The Big Day

2011-12-14T23:07:00.001+04:00

Hello World,

It's a big day! Nathan's birthday, the day I had signed a contract with God and the day 'I fucked up' with an important person who's paranoid about any gal that talks to me, and with friends too - yeah those guys formulating all sorts of theories on me and it's true as well it's the day I am about to write a resignation letter...

I'm all down and I do agree that I might have a big fucking problem, but in the end, who really cares about you, about how you feel, where you want to go, and what makes you really happy. You might say I am selfish, but in my whole life I have been generous, smiling and didn't get a fucking minimum of recognition or respect.

People do fuck up with me all the time, and yet, I remain the tolerant one accepting their non-involvement and indiscipline. Now that I am the one who wants to breathe a little, I'm given the title of the one who does not care or communicate. Oh please fuck off now, and let me rest in peace.

Bye bye world.

The Dark Arts

2011-12-01T12:24:00.001+04:00

Seducing and intricately complex

Where is talent?

2011-10-22T08:02:00.003+04:00

Talent is everywhere! It's the ego, negativity, the lack of engagement, the fear to take responsibility, laziness and the lack of objectivity on oneself that kill it

Lord of the Rings

2011-08-20T08:38:00.000+04:00

In the Shire, when 3 major decisions have to be taken in less than 30 moon days, the mind of the weak becomes twisted. Its state ripples to the border of madness; his fate depends on choices.

Those he has to make to transform his future and those who follow him

Exact Location of Lost Arts

2011-08-17T10:39:00.000+04:00

Where has Good Sex gone?

Sales

2011-07-01T13:04:00.000+04:00

Money cannot buy your heart

Hate and Time

2011-05-10T09:53:00.000+04:00

I don't have time to hate

That time and energy spent to hate is inversely proportional to the time you can do constructive things in your life

Hating me is fine, but I really don't have that time to spend hating you.

The flock principle

2011-03-28T14:42:00.000+04:00

You have to listen to the same music as them
You have to smoke the same sh** as them
You have to be their puppy
You have to accept their ideas
You need to have the same plans as them...
Don't ever be better than them at what they do
Don't ever think differently
Now that's what I call friends !

Never build a home out of selfishness

2011-03-15T11:54:00.002+04:00

new life = no friends, no discoveries, no parties, no love, no fun? You've got to be kidding me !

Unanswered

2011-03-15T09:37:00.001+04:00

Cycles. It all cycles in a huge circle of life, death, hope and memories. Where do they start? Where do they end? The sole purpose of the universe, infinity. Why are we here? What are we? Wastes, leftovers of god, born to love, hate, learn, and discover. Why do we reduce ourselves to jealousy, pity, indifference and selfishness? Why do we cry? Why do we feel heavy inside? Why do we react to emotions and social changes? Is being human an excuse? Are we tiny and insignificant? Is there something with a much larger momemtum that we did not foresee?

Why?

Why do we have to start it back right from the beginning? Why should we bother gathering so much power, cash? Why should this life be reduced to survival and starting a family with kids and educate them, tell them that life is beautiful and that they will have a better, perhaps grand, future in the coming years, if they behave well, if they stick to the rules imposed by man.

Is it instinct? Is it the beauty of our race? It is quite obvious that mother nature might be sick of this paranoia. And what about God? Our creator, our destroyer, our recycler, humans are his sins and his love. He watches over us, I wonder why. And heaven? Why should we have one? Infinite peace and love they say... this infinite life for which purpose? Life has unlimited possibilities of research and experiments, and the eighty year old average might not be enough... and Research, yeah Research, to achieve what? A better earth? Please stop the noises inside my head.

Just to let you know...

2010-06-24T21:54:00.002+04:00

That whatever you said or thought about me
Or what you think was true, is false

Just to let you know, that I don't need you and you never needed me anyway
Just to let you know that success is not measured by how high you climb in your social hierarchy
Just to let you know that the real happiness I can feel is something that is impossible to describe
Just to let you know that you totally underestimated me
In yer face ... !!!

Hunter

2010-01-03T21:14:00.001+04:00

Tracking down the vultures
They will fall one by one

Mission 1

2010-01-03T21:13:00.000+04:00

Bring him back

Blue

2009-12-18T00:44:00.001+04:00

A feeling of no feeling...

Mind Mapper

2009-12-13T20:11:00.001+04:00

And all your theories about massive mind manipulation
It seems you are too good at it
And you do it for your own self-esteem
What a pity...

My anger

2009-12-13T20:01:00.003+04:00

Any form of silent hypocrisy might be ignored or condemned
Any person looking for their self interest will not get my attention
Any one fishing for compliments here and there
Trying to be proud and feeling like a super star in the middle of a tiny crowd
Might just be right next to the truth
I do analyze fast your weird behaviors and, in a sense, what you could do to get higher
I know who you are, don't wear your mask in front of me, you're naked !!!

Humor

2009-12-01T15:44:00.000+04:00

It's funny that you claim that you like the real world when you are living a fantasy

Abandonia

2009-11-30T11:06:00.001+04:00

Too narrow to draw a line
Close to your frailing body
Touched your hand and felt the dust
An abandoned fractured part of you
Left there forever
Snakes in your backyard
Flowers to hide them
A spine while you walked
A thrill down your back
We had lost hope in the previous You
We saw you in pictures
Secluded in your world
We wished we could see your smile
We wished to cut the strings
Your master had already built its walls

Probably True

2009-11-19T23:44:00.001+04:00

Your Faith In Blindness Is Amazing

Maths

2009-10-23T23:50:00.001+04:00

Every graph has its peak
Every distribution has its trend
And after it's high for too long
It tends to drop fast
It's the fall that is hard

Worth it...

2009-10-12T20:12:00.005+04:00

I'm happy to know some people truly love me
And oh, it's so pitiful to see that you're living a selfish life
Do you honestly think that once you reach your supposed respected social status you will feel truly rewarded?
Don't blind yourself from your inner dreams and self. You're far from the truth. You might be 'smart' but it does not mean you're close to the truth...
Ask yourself, are you truly happy? And where lies your real happiness?

Ignorance

2009-09-28T19:34:00.000+04:00

silence like violence breaks your patience

Your own imperfection

2009-09-19T08:49:00.001+04:00

And this story never ends
Until you realise that every step you make forward is a step backward
Your reality is your own perception

Sometimes

2009-08-29T00:22:00.002+04:00

sometimes beauty is about what people share with you. where they go, what they want, and what they want to live... sometimes it's just about opening your arms and letting go, and it's about that present I'm talking about.. the one in which, something happens and disappears so fast, that you didn't even have the time to grasp what really happened..and it's already gone..

sometimes it's just about chances that you take.. chances that come to you and opportunities you don't want to see.. this is where I don't spend much time, this is where i can give attention to those who want mine...

sometimes, i feel so happy when I am with you

Pissed

2009-08-15T17:40:00.001+04:00

And she has the right to live life the way she wants

Spare her

2009-08-03T09:58:00.002+04:00

Please spare me your immature indifference

Come out of your paranoia

And don't stay in this dark place

She's striving for you

Let her free

She has the right to live

She won't be there forever for you

And don't complain about others not participating in the paranoia

Philosophy

2009-07-25T18:02:00.002+04:00

And sometimes I see those words
Written on the wall
I wish you could build a bridge
To make the gap less wide
Between what you say
And what you do

And every post is for you?

2009-07-22T21:51:00.002+04:00

Why do you think that all posts revolve
around you?
It's a misconception
It's a misconception
It's a misconception
It's a misconception

Relativity Theory

2009-07-22T21:34:00.005+04:00

the lack of relativity made me drift closer to the border
intertwine but different, no more, no more
a dot, a simple dot: total insignificance in your universe
as i embrace your territory of philanthropy,
i suddenly became a rebel, who did not fit in our plans
of supposed happiness
i lack the feel of your fingers
i lack your depth
i lack the beauty through your eyes
i never said i would lose my mind
nor my soul
nor my dreams
nor my pride
nor my confidence
in your absence
i just said i wanted to be there, in part of the gigantesque show
in which you and your minions would strive to make this world a better place to be

No Escape

2009-07-18T14:22:00.002+04:00

There's no escape.

It's season 2.

I'm back. The outrageous .. The rage .. pulled me back to my seat.. I need you.. I need my walls.. The only way I use to defend myself.. Be prepared!

Outer walls

2009-05-25T00:20:00.006+04:00

I broke the walls and escaped

(P.S: thanks to all my blog followers, this is my last blog entry and probably the end of this blog for now)

The Last Music Note

2009-05-24T23:27:00.006+04:00

Maestro, do it!
It is the score of your life
One grand event!
Outside in the dark, the reflecting light in the glowing glasses will save you
You are part of this lonely world
Where every single note travels through space and time and is lost the moment your ear catches its subtle resonance
You are part of this show
Where only your sincerity matters
Where your movements flow down the halls of emotions to end adagio in one fine moment
You had followers who did not believe
Atheists who didn't follow
You lifted the lamp and watched your dreams: the only ones that mattered
You saw others in their secluded world, trying to catch up with your misunderstood melodies
Some trying hard to listen, some trying hard to help
Some paid for the show, some were just silent watchers absorbing whatever they might have absorbed and in the end they just judged
I know that your absence has been the subject of all debates
I know as well that whatever philosophy was discussed does not stand
You fell into the part in which whatever people said about you limited yourself
Didn't you forget that you have an open mind with endless possibilities
You were born for building great things
You are above the average human
Maestro, please do it ... we're all waiting for the show

The little prince

2009-05-14T19:41:00.002+04:00

Yes indeed, it looks similar to other flowers but yours is unique
That's why you cherish it and make it special to your own eyes
The beauty is there, deep inside you
It moves you, cause it is in its true form
And the truth does win at times

A secret place

2009-05-14T19:39:00.001+04:00

There's a secret place I have to go
To reach you
I'm trying hard to forget
I'll never forget

Master plan

2009-04-30T18:57:00.001+04:00

Someone told me he was busy cause the fate of the world was in his hands
So do not disturb as you would prevent him from reaching his goals in his master plan to rule the world
Stay away from him
It's a dangerous game

Hands

2009-04-28T22:06:00.002+04:00

... in my dreams I hold your hand my dead sister
dropped a flower on your grave
you showed me love
you taught me how to move on

Unfamiliar meeting

2009-04-28T18:40:00.003+04:00

To Nouche:

After 7 years, I meet you again
My heart was filled with joy
Life can take strange turns
And you're right,
Progress is not here

Therapy

2009-04-28T18:39:00.002+04:00

Writing is just another therapy

(what a creative and dramatic month)

<...>

A strange family...

2009-04-28T08:16:00.000+04:00

... who apparently knows the meaning of mutual support

Strength

2009-04-25T16:58:00.002+04:00

I have the strength to know where I am
I have the strength to be noble enough
I have the strength to be humble enough
I have the strength to let you go
I have the will to meet you one day again
I have the strength to be alone
I have the right to love whoever I want
And it is my choice to love
because I am strong to have faith in whatever I believe in

Please ...

2009-04-23T23:08:00.000+04:00

Oh please, spare me the bs ...
You could have told me ...

Missing

2009-04-22T23:12:00.003+04:00

(meant to be a song)

When I'd surrendered all fights
Took a look at the book you gave to me
And fell on a random saying
I read it for me out loud
And focused on the moment where you had said the two words to me

I just thought it was shared
But in fact, it stopped there

You cry, You fall, You made me break
my empty walls
You started a movement
And you didn't follow it all
You moved You cleaned and Slept again
In your empty sheets
You created the space

And void...
You left it all
You had to do for you to move
For you to grow
And closed every door
But for now, I miss you
I miss you
I'm missing you

[low latency]

2009-04-22T22:49:00.005+04:00

[in the background - i'm part of]
[i can hear the noise]
[whisper your desire]
[acknowledgment]
[i can hear the closing door]
[in the dimming light]
[a star has cried]
[a spark has died]
[in the past - i'm part of]
[i surrender to madness]
[i'll never know]
[i'll never wait]
[i can hear my scream]
[in words - i've lost the way]
[in lies - you hid the truth]
[i'll never know]
[i'll never wait]
[deleting objects/memory]

(dedicated to a strange flower who never really answers to my questions directly and to a crazy IT world which never stops progressing)

Duniyaan ke logo (Citizen of the earth)

2009-04-22T15:56:00.004+04:00

mei prakriti ko sunta hun or oosko mehsoos karta hun
mei apnae choonae se theek theek or bhar jaata hun
mei apnae obhaarnae se dilon ki chchoo leta hun
mei khulae dimaag ka hun
ek garam ehsaas meri baahon mei
mei apnae raaste pe khud chalta hun bina sabhyataa or logo ki soch se
mei sabhi ka aadar karta hun
manei apni muskhuraahat ko baatna sikhaa
mei duniya k kaafi udaas jaghaaon

(special thanks to Soo. If you do not understand the text, just mail me)

The minute that changed it all

2009-04-18T09:32:00.001+04:00

It happens once in a while

The trigger

2009-04-17T09:12:00.001+04:00

Oh no, it's too late
The process has started

Winding Paths

2009-04-16T22:50:00.005+04:00

/.\
/.. \
\.../
\./
+ <--- a point where 2 lines cross again?

wtf

2009-04-16T07:31:00.000+04:00

wtf wtf wtf wtf wtf wtf wtf wtf wtf wtf wtf wtf wtf wtf wtf wtf wtf wtf wtf wtf wtf wtf wtf wtf wtf wtf wtf wtf wtf wtf wtf wtf wtf wtf wtf wtf wtf wtf wtf wtf wtf wtf wtf wtf wtf wtf wtf wtf wtf wtf wtf wtf wtf wtf wtf wtf wtf wtf wtf wtf wtf wtf wtf wtf wtf wtf wtf wtf wtf wtf wtf wtf wtf wtf wtf wtf wtf wtf wtf wtf wtf wtf wtf wtf wtf wtf wtf wtf wtf wtf wtf wtf wtf wtf wtf wtf wtf wtf wtf wtf wtf wtf ( a deliberation of pain, anger and tears )

Sheer manipulation

2009-04-14T21:53:00.003+04:00

(I had lunch with one of my friends today and I was inspired by her story. It's the story of a guy actually .. so sad)

A turmoil created out of his loneliness
He created a barrier to all those who came close
He couldn't burn his anger
He tried to take a timid step into the unknown
Her saw his outer wall cracks
He was guided by her gloomy hands
It seemed easter had lost its chocs
and wonderland had lost its magic
She created hate to seclude him
She created illusions to trap him into this blue pill reality
one in which everyone was an enemy
She started the countdown till he'd fall
And swap his soul for another once her deed was complete...

Black Rose

2009-03-26T07:12:00.000+05:00

Dreams …are moving in my way
Changing hues of my sacrifices
Keeping my pain astray
Picking me up when I’d lost everything
While I was wandering far away

And you colored my walls
Deep inside me
And I caught up with you in the deepest cave my…

Black rose split the darkness
You thought it was senseless
And I had my reasons
Not to feel the words of treason

Smooth skin
Peachy silky
Close to my eyes
I held my breath, felt the pressure
And at that moment you kissed my soul
Unfamiliar union of secret notes

And you colored that room
Used that magic
And I couldn’t ask for more

(note: this was written a few years ago as part of a project with my friend Cristo)

Tangible dreams

2009-03-13T12:22:00.012+05:00

In every way, you moved me
And everyday, I'll do my best
Because I believe in us

Geeky

2009-03-10T09:31:00.006+05:00

A mini nuclear implosion that inadvertently occurred in the complex labyrinth of the alien heart creating a major disruption in the space-time continuum. Slowly building, never surrendering, and wanting to know what will happen next...

trying not...

2009-03-01T11:44:00.000+05:00

trying not to be me
i'd be confined to my own security
trying not to be
i'd be lost in that structure
trying not to feel
i'd be safe not being hurt
trying not to dream
i'd stay here behind my screen

and i'm trying not for a little longer

the world does not matter...

2009-03-01T11:00:00.000+05:00

... but what else matters?

the illusion of reality...?

No Post February

2009-02-03T07:13:00.001+05:00

A break from virtual reality

Be there when I'm gone

2009-01-28T03:39:00.001+05:00

Dear A,

By the time you read this letter, I will probably be somewhere close to a montgolfière, flying close to the clouds and trying to wipe my last tears. Gravity won't pull me further where I am.

Right now, I am close to myself, to my own heart, seeing how happy it never really were. The remnants are not in the state I expected. I once believed you stole everything from me, I once believed that I couldn't go further without you, and I once believed that it was true love to give everything.

I was wrong, but I was right to say that those were my last tears, not that there won't be any later, but it won't be the same as before. You stole nothing, I had the right to cry, to have a broken heart, I had the right to believe everyone was an enemy. Those are my beliefs and they belong to me.

I have people around me who showed me to be stronger, to go further, to pursue my dreams, and to whom I can confide in without fear. I do not know how long they will stay, some of them are not here anymore. I am with one of them for now, close to a cloud, and I have no worries at all, cause I know I am strong no matter what happens and that no matter how I feel about how life is treating me, that being will still be there, listening to my needs.

I've learnt to love, cause I felt loved, and no one can take that away from me; not even death.

Of all promises you made that you'd been there, you have not changed and I am gone...

夜だけの情事

2009-01-24T15:06:00.009+05:00

i'm the affectionate
i'm the sexual being
i touch
i need to be touched
i need to feel you
i need you to feel
for what i am outside
as a man, as a woman
i live it
closer,
i embrace the heat
i explore the joy
of being comfortable
for one unique moment with you

Back to That life

2009-01-22T06:27:00.000+05:00

And here again, I'm back to That life

A gem (part 3)

2009-01-20T17:45:00.005+05:00

On an heroic adventure, a knight who had a pure heart ventured in the confines of the gem's palace. It was empty, just light everywhere coming from the blue windows. The knight was lost, his fate was sealed. He found a way to touch the gem, trying like everyone to see through it. He couldn't bear the dense atmosphere created suddenly by his surroundings; the emptiness, the blue lights and his sudden armor heaviness. He dropped his sword, fell down on his knees and prayed.

As odd as it seems, he prayed. Are prayers for the desperate? He sensed that loneliness, space, time, past, future, and feelings all disappeared. The gem perfectly created the illusion - one that made all who dared believe, that the gem could stand on its own in its empty palace.

Nathan

2009-01-20T17:45:00.002+05:00

You're the one that holds a message, one of hope, one of love
It is not important for me to know everything about your past
I accept what you are, what you have, and the paths you choose
You are the creator
You trace your future
And one day, I will hold your hand

A fragment

2009-01-09T06:47:00.001+05:00

one of the fragments fell but a new one grew

V

2009-01-08T23:57:00.003+05:00

There was that pink fluorescent rabbit travelling in town with a white switched-on bulb on its head. While touring, it met an opera-singing bat flying around :
- what'cha doing here?
- just floating, and you ?
- just singing
- why?
- there's no better way to enjoy life...

the misunderstood paths of jack & sally

2009-01-08T17:10:00.000+05:00

the last day, what if it was today?
jack met sally once again at the top of that hill
he had brought a dying black flower
sally showed to him her ring
she was tied to that one decision: the will of Her world
it was the last meeting with jack
it was the hill where they had met for the first time

they slightly touched each other remembering how dark their hearts were
they slightly felt their blood tickle and there was that sudden warmth again
the heat aura that once made them one, that made them masters of their destiny

sally kept her word not to destroy the world
jack made a vow not to stand on the brink of loneliness
that was the last day, did she have something to say?

... and jack slowly disappeared in the mist.

A gem (part 2)

2008-12-23T12:00:00.000+05:00

The gem, like a sphere, showed what others wanted to see
The rich wanted more of its beauty
The poor tried to grasp part of its intensity
The gem was there waiting to be conquered

But the gem was in its own world
bound to its own truths
it hid what it had
it wanted to
what others were seeing were simply lost

hidden and lost

2008-12-21T21:35:00.002+05:00

part of it split
part of it lost
truth needed that
reality needed that
felt abused
felt terrorized
hope's rising
in her
in there
difficult not to lie
trying to please
trying to please
attention seeking
masking herself
behind others
forgetting herself
hiding
feeling lost

A gem (part 1)

2008-12-16T18:37:00.004+05:00

I was walking too fast or too slow
I missed the gem that belonged to its castle
I watched it from a distance
Its glowing light attracting me
I'd preserve its beauty by giving it time

Sandcastles

2008-12-15T00:04:00.003+05:00

We drew our lines in the sand
We wanted peace
We wanted peace
We'd like to watch the silence
We'd love to hear the last rays
We'd love to touch the waves
We'd be lost for one single minute of eternity
We'd watch the world collapse from the beach
And still be there

lost in our little lives

2008-12-09T19:42:00.000+05:00

each one I guess is

Sweetness follows

2008-12-09T19:40:00.001+05:00

I just hope one day you'll do it with and for me

alien contact

2008-12-08T19:35:00.005+05:00

our fingers touching each other
we sparkled some hope
we wanted the world to unite
to celebrate our unfamiliar fusion
we wanted to bring some heat to the human cocoon

Finding beauty

2008-12-08T19:28:00.001+05:00

Beauty probably lies in that distant landscape close to your heart

Time

2008-12-08T19:23:00.003+05:00

and I stopped time
[

]

Chaos control

2008-11-24T11:18:00.000+05:00

She made her way through the lies of another
Trying to bring the pieces back together
She thought it was tragedy
And she'd like to be given a remedy

Disoriented in her madness
And in that mess, she'd try to rest
She'd like her eyelids to cover her soul
Instead of closing her eyes, she'd still see her dark reality

Empty Stares...
White sheet hiding the cold
Her thoughts going astray for a split second
She'd lose consciousness to the arms of death

You

2008-11-21T08:29:00.004+05:00

I simply love the fact that you are You.

(dedicated to a strange person who has fallen from a star and landed on the earth on the last month of the current human normal calendar year... wjtib)

why...

2008-11-15T23:38:00.001+05:00

why shouldn't it be simple and fun ?

life ...

the awkward disease...

2008-11-15T23:13:00.001+05:00

this can't be happening again... let's get over that one quick...

Assumptions about me...

2008-10-22T11:07:00.002+04:00

People usually think they know or make assumptions about what They think is right for me.

I end up with tons of different opinions of who I am, who I should be and what I should do.

I live the way I want, and I am the only one who makes the decisions in the end of what I should do and what's best for me.

à bon entendeur...

The Joker and his cheap shots

2008-09-16T23:10:00.003+04:00

He spoofed her soul
He tried to fear
He touched her weak spot
He pretended to love

He was desperate
He attracted pity
He manipulated the facts

He wanted to possess and spread some lies

You lost yourself
I know your tricks
... but I do pardon you for your cheap shots...

Just realise, you have to live your life with peace within your heart...

Trust

2008-09-07T11:29:00.002+04:00

No one knows what he is going through apart from himself
He is the master
He is in control of what he has
In hard times, he saw who was there to help and who was there to point their finger
At least, there was no backstabbing, but he knows from whom to keep a safe distance

the death angel & the knife of sorrow

2008-08-14T23:37:00.001+04:00

there she stood in the dark
her eyes wide, opening darkness
engulfing my soul
tickling my knowledge
starving for my hate
here is the twirl, the twist, the familiar face,
the plunging blade
soaked with part of my honor, my fears
sinking slowly into the wound...
blurred, down the corridor
holding its falling walls
that'd close my fate..

wrong direction ?

2008-08-14T23:15:00.000+04:00

wait...

don't...

gravity will kill you...

Silent Nightmares (1997 - from my personal diary)

2008-08-13T19:11:00.000+04:00

Lost in my deepest thoughts
I feel something has gone forever in me
Have I lost the will to dream
A cry in the night
Silent nightmares
Whether in or out blackness' present
Would you be my light for a day

Is there a place to hide
No help from the world
Cold heart Cold stone
Why I'm here
In this place standing alone...

Days go by and still no light
Time has no more meaning to me
To my world
Shadows fall on me
Like the fading daylight
I fear...all the things I've learnt
were just lies.

Silent nightmares, this endless swirling in my mind
Confusion, frustrations, memory never erases
Time doesn't change
I'm experienced but sad...

Wasted

2008-08-10T20:43:00.002+04:00

Those are the things that drive you out of life
That grip you at sad times
That make you want to take a run, hurt yourself and throw your debt away
Dreams splashed the hall of shame
Looks like I am to blame
I wanted to know who would run and who would stay

I used to play the game
You used to say the same

I'm wasted, I'm losing time again
And twisted I'm dying dry of thoughts

Those are the things that none would talk about
That whip you from inside
That make you run and hold it down
Dreams splashed my walls of shade
Looks like you knew the taste
Of all my feelings that I left away

You used to play the game
I probably said the same

I'm wasted, I'm losing time again
And twisted I'm dying dry of thoughts

Frailty

2008-08-08T22:59:00.001+04:00

the frailty of the moving pieces out of the whole
the difference in meanings and deductions
the anger that stirred you once you heard that voice
the story of the mind line not understanding the cries and the roars
and all that mean existence come to an end

what was once one
what was once white
what was once the holy union

Free
his mind spoken dreams
came to reality when
he wanted to change

the clash between the two that could not be free
the father that was once there to hum the lullaby
the missing pane freeing her own breath

what was once one
what was once white
what was once the holy union

Losing time...

2008-08-04T21:33:00.003+04:00

I am glad to lose time with people who are willing to lose time with me

Judgement Day

2008-08-04T21:30:00.001+04:00

How could I possibly judge you ? Who am I to judge?

I am not even half a dot in the universe...

Secret Power...

2008-07-24T22:25:00.002+04:00

I have a secret power
I have control over it at times
It works unconsciously at other times

I am happy to have it
It can make a difference even in the most unexpected situations

Some of the people I know have experienced that in some way...
... and every time, they told me the same thing... that somehow, that power made a difference...

be patient...

2008-07-11T19:51:00.004+04:00

be patient girl, love may come to you at the moment you least expect ...

...

take your time to discover people who care for you and you will have all the love you need ...

the closest...

2008-07-01T22:32:00.002+04:00

... and sometimes the closest may feel embarrassed to tell you something that you already had guessed...

the miracles of alcohol

2008-06-29T13:49:00.001+04:00

... ever experienced that?

understanding

2008-06-29T13:47:00.001+04:00

don't try to understand me, just love me

(this is a quote that comes from a gift I received)

the shell

2008-04-11T12:08:00.001+04:00

i'm hiding inside it

To my eternal friend...

2008-04-03T10:51:00.000+04:00

our signs of faith.uniting our memories.of what we were.of what we will be. our paths were the same.stretching beyond time.our souls were made to separate.but our bond'd remain.i wish that wherever you are.you find beauty in what you do..

Where in hell (part 1)

2008-04-03T10:49:00.003+04:00

I know where hell is. I have been living there for some time without even realising that it was IT. a huge room with burning pillars consuming the empty space of my heart ... the place where I couldn't let out a single emotion. my fear was gone, i couldn't breathe, there was no such thing as the devil or even god.. absolutely no concept of what was there or what will never be. I asked one question to the doorkeeper (and even wondered why that door was there. I realised that everything had doors in this world even in the most absurd places): "what is the purpose of that door?" I could have asked something like "who are you?" but that was pretty much ridiculous in that kind of situation. "It is the door to your previous and new life". That implied I had one door for both, what the 'hell' did that mean? But that was hell: the door was there, I had to take a decision but the decision was already taken and I knew somehow that I would stay there..

smile for me

2008-04-03T10:49:00.001+04:00

your smile can hide so many things
your smile hides the beauty of the world
your smile makes things easier
your smile can touch me where no one had ever gone

What lies beneath...

2008-04-03T10:48:00.000+04:00

What lies beneath is
So smooth so strange
Obviously more interesting than outside
Behind this scene, under this thing
Something's hiding
So strange so cute
Something's turning something's hiding
Seen some light in it Something's calling

What lies beneath is
Waiting to explode
In every direction
What lies beneath is waiting for an answer

Abstract meanings

2008-04-03T10:47:00.001+04:00

Never forget the present
Stuck between your lips,
your moves
It's nothing at all

Folded,
blinded by our past and future
leaving a glimpse of joy
mourning more

left by the only feeling: abandoned
wearing her out to the bones: afraid
"Life's such a b|tch"